Time
by Mojotheomegawolf
Summary: Years later we rejoin Humphrey as he nears the end of his life. What has time changed, and what has remained the same. Oneshot. Some may cry.
**Time, by Mojotheomegawolf**

Time had aged the omega and trauma made him wise. Stress had long since turned his dark face grey, and the adventures of his youth had deteriorated his joints to arthritic pins. Claudette ran the pack now. Nobody had seen Stinky in years after the tragic falling out he and Humphrey had in his teens. Humphrey blamed himself for this, but hope led him blindly to believe that he was still alive and well in some other part of the world, and even more blindly, that someday he would come back. He wished so dearly to apologize to him and make things right once more, but in the back of his mind, he somehow knew that he would never get the chance. But at least he still had Claudette and Runt. Time had seen them both fall in love, and now Claudette and Runt both had mates and pups of their own who gave them their fair share of the trouble their parents dished out in days of old. He couldn't be more proud of the young man and woman they had turned out to be. He only wished now that he had remained close to Stinky, because unfortunately, he never got to see the man his eldest son would become. He only hoped that wherever Stinky had gone, and whatever he was doing now, it was making him happy.

Winston and Eve left this world almost four years ago to date. Tony's stubborn nature bought him another six months, but he inevitably went the way of his friends. Garth and Lilly, who to this day remain in the grass, still never had pups of their own. Sadly, he lost Kate last year to illness, and with her departure finally went the light from his eyes. His smile remained, if only for the sake of his children and grandchildren and the happiness they brought unto him whilst in his presence, but on cold nights, when he lied all alone in his den, his heart would be hollowed by a void which he knew no other could fill. He missed Kate more and more with each day that passed, but he knew, or more so, hoped that she had gone on to a better place where they would again meet when his time finally arrived.

Many times he thought back on his life, of the many pointless squabbles they'd had. Half the time he could not recall why he was even angry with her in the first place, and only hoped that whatever the subjects of these arguments were, they were important enough to momentarily make him forget just how much she meant to him.

But through all of this regret, and through all of this longing, he had come to realize that love, while powerful, just was not a big enough word to describe how he felt about her and his family, and that maybe, if he could have figured out how to express this sooner, things would have been different. Kate would still be gone. Nothing could change that now, but maybe he would still have Stinky and maybe he would be able live in his old age free of regret.

His days consisted of very little now, but his time as the leader of this pack had put him in the habit of routine. Every day was the same as the last: wake up at sunrise, eat breakfast when the hunting party returned if they were successful. If not, then he would just go without until the arrival of the next hunt group. After that, he would wander the park and keep an eye on his fellow pack members, because, even in his old age, his time as its leader had made him restless. However, regardless of what was happening, every day at the exact same time, he would wander off to the meadow he had so dearly loved as a pup and gaze with misty eyes at what time had done to heal the land after the fire had so cruelly destroyed it all those years ago. The plain, once black from soot and ash, had been cleansed by the rain and snow of many seasons. The trees which surrounded the meadow were still bare and burned, and would remain as they were until acted on by a great, natural or human force, but time had seen the most wonderful miracle occur in the barren wasteland which once existed here. Patches of grass and flowers had begun to spring up from the soil so that much of what was lost was now regained, and he knew that maybe, by the time his children were his age, though it would be long after he was gone and he would never see it, this beautiful place will have returned once more to its original state and could bring joy to somebody else who sought sanctuary from their problems within its grass.

He knew that Claudette and Runt knew that he would disappear every day, and even though they had asked him before, he would never tell them where he was going, or the real reason why he was leaving.

He didn't think they would be able to handle the truth anyway, but the truth was, he was old and tired. He knew that his days were short, so if his heart was to stop beating, he wanted it to be in the place where he was happiest. Kate was no longer with him, so dying in her embrace, where he was truly at his happiest, was not an option. He knew that he was being selfish by disappearing, but nothing remained for him at home. His children were each busy with their own responsibilities as Alpha and King of the Forest, so neither of them had much time to spare for their father. With time, the sound of little paws had faded and was replaced by the sound of silence; and when Kate faded from his life, all that she left behind for him was an emptiness in the den even more callous than the emptiness of dying alone. All life had vanished in his home and time stood still, but out here there was something more. Even though he had never brought Kate to this meadow, he could always feel her with him as he gazed out upon the recovering land. So in a way, when he was out here, he was never alone, and here, with her spirit beside him, he could truly find happiness.

With a sigh he sat back on his haunches and watched as the dragonflies zipped back and forth on the breeze. It was always at this time, when he finally settled in and allowed the serenity of the world to take him under its spell, that he contemplated life and death. Many times he had sat here and wondered if there was more to this world than what he could see.

He liked to believe in the stories his parents told him about the virtuous wonders of the spirit world which would await him after death, because the thought comforted him in his old age, since he knew that soon his time on earth would draw to a close. Yet, did he marvel how doubt still lied within the void. The stories, with only a little objective thought, did not amount to much in the way of logic, but perhaps, with a lack of written tablets, personal biases, misinterpretation, and misinformation was passed down generation to generation. Still, if he looked to validate the myths with this argument, he felt as though he would be grasping for straws. Maybe this place didn't exist after all, but if such a place never existed, and they all truly were alone in the universe, then he had to question his own existence and if life was even worth living in the first place.

In the scheme of things, what would his life have done to benefit the agenda of the world around him? He and Kate changed a few rules to make his home a safer, more tolerant place for all, but what did that really matter in the long run? What meaning did his, or anybody else's life mean if, in another ten years or so, they would all be forgotten?

He sighed, because he wondered why he even pondered these thoughts if he could never determine an answer, but perhaps it was because of his desire to see those whom he had lost that drove him to wonder if there was any possibility of his dream to come true.

He knew that he was a shell of who he used to be; in fact, he had a hard time remembering who he was. His leadership role had ultimately destroyed who he used to be, and now, he felt the gaps in his life beginning to widen.

In his age he had forgotten many things. He couldn't recall the memories of his childhood, he lost track of his adoptive parents' names, he couldn't even remember what he looked like without seeing his reflection anymore, but worst of all, he was starting to forget Kate's image as well. He would see her every night in his dreams, but with each month that passed, he would gaze upon her with greater unfamiliarity. He never thought that his own mate would drift away into the realm of forgotten faces which lied somewhere deep in the recessions of his mind, but he knew, with great heaviness of heart, that one day she, too, would become just another face with no name. How he wished he would die, because he knew that a life without her memory to keep him strong would never be worth living, but also, how he wished he could live, because he did not wish to die if that meant that he would have to spend the rest of eternity alone in the ground.

It mattered not which option he chose to pursue, because either way, he knew that he would play a losing hand; but such was life's design.

Seeking not to dwell in such morbid thoughts, he chose to allow a sigh to carry him starkly down to his chest and he closed his eyes as he sought refuge in the serenity of the meadow's silence.

The warm rays of the spring sun bathed his fur in their pleasant embrace, and the soft breeze cooled him with its gentle breath as he basked in the blessings that the season offered; and for the first time in a long time he felt at peace.

His mind was not plagued by guilt or regret as it normally was. Today, he remembered Kate clearly, and he remembered nearly everything that they had been through together. He recalled their journey across the country. He remembered the way she looked on their wedding night. He recalled the first night they had ever made love to one another. He could picture perfectly how radiantly she glowed when she carried their pups.

He sighed.

He remembered how she would cry over how gross she must have looked, how fat and ugly the pups had made her, but he never saw it that way. To him, she was never more beautiful than she was when she carried their pups in her. There was never a time when they were closer than when he would cater to her every need as she nursed their newborn pups.

Never before had he been more proud than the day he heard his children's first whimpers. Never before had he felt more complete than the day he first held his family in his arms.

He could picture Kate, just as beautiful in her old age as she was the day he had first met her all those years ago.

She bore faded fur, as time had seen her youth fade. The fur around her muzzle had greyed, and in her time, she, too, had lost the spryness of her joints. But they were as happy as they could be together, because, when they were in each other's grasp after such a long, successful life together, happiness was born, and everything else faded away.

Now Kate was gone, and her memory would soon be gone as well, but he cherished every moment, savored every kiss, and loved her like crazy until illness took her from him. He still did.

Tears began to pool in the bases of his eyes and then seeped slowly out as gravity carried them on their journey down his cheeks, but in spite of the tears, his smile remained as he saw Kate's beautiful memory dance about in the veils of his memory.

A&Ω

Humphrey did not even realize that he had fallen asleep until the shrill shriek of a nearby sparrow pierced his ears. He pinched his eyes tightly together before allowing them to slowly open, and he realized immediately that he had been asleep for a matter of at least a few hours, as the sun now sat lower in the sky than it did upon his arrival. He sighed and lifted his head, then allowed his eyes to sweep slowly over the field once more before he shifted his legs and made an attempt to stand.

Habitually, he grimaced and braced himself for the pains that age had brought upon his legs, but as he pressed himself slowly up off of the ground, he discovered that there was no pain.

That's odd.

He paused half way up and held himself in a crouched position, expecting the typical slice of his arthritis to encourage him to straighten out, but still that never came. With a scowl of curiosity, he straightened out until he stood upright on all fours and turned his eyes down to his paws. Slowly he flexed his pads, then lifted his right leg. Surprisingly, still he felt no pain, so he lowered that leg and lifted his left with the same result.

Curiouser and curiouser.

He knew that he must have been out of his mind to try this, because at his age, he could easily injure himself, but there was only one way to know for sure that his joints had somehow been healed of their affliction.

He lowered himself down into a crouched position then took off in a dead sprint across the meadow, and as he ran, he realized that he now had the ability to move more freely than he had in years.

This caused him to smile brightly as he ran, and then another idea came to mind. He took a few more bounds, then threw himself onto the ground and rolled about in the grass, and where normally the immobilizing pain of hitting the ground would be, there was nothing but the sensation of the grass as it tickled his fur.

Joy exploded in his heart and before he knew it, laughter began to tickle his throat.

For the first time in years, he felt young again, and he couldn't explain why; nor did he want to. He felt fantastic, and that was all that mattered to him at this point.

His laughter grew until finally he had laughed himself out and he released a sigh as he wiped a tear away from his eye. For a moment he lied on his back in the grass as he came down from his elation and he gazed up at the clouds which whisked slowly across the sky above, but after about a minute, he released another sigh and rolled over onto his stomach.

He had been gone a while. Claudette and Runt had probably begun to worry about him, so it was probably time for him to go.

With a deep breath of collection, he pressed himself up onto his paws, and still he had to marvel at the sudden cleansing of his arthritis, but he brushed that to the side for the time being and began on his journey home.

However, the folly had parched him, so he made a detour to the lake for a drink.

He slowly approached the water's edge and began to lower his head down to drink, but he quickly pulled away when his eyes fell upon the reflection on the surface of the water.

He had to take a moment to study the reflection carefully, because for a moment, he almost didn't recognize it, but after that moment had passed, he realized that it was his face that he saw in the water's mirror.

Curious, though, was that this face belonged to a version of him which had long since died. The wolf who gazed back at him was young and full of vigor. The eyes of this wolf were bright and filled with life, and the lines of worry and age which had been etched into his face were nonexistent, but that could not be possible. He hadn't borne features such as these in years.

He scowled and moved back and forth in an attempt to elude what he believed had to be an illusion, but the wolf in the water mirrored his motions flawlessly. Confusion filled his mind as he gazed scrupulously down upon the reflection, because he knew that it couldn't possibly be his; but it copied him exactly, so how could it not be? What explanation was there to answer his list of questions?

He locked eyes with his youthful reflection as he sorted through the possibilities, but a new presence in the water to his right drew his eyes to it and when his gaze fell upon the new reflection, he felt his heart explode.

"Kate?" he asked, shell-shocked, as he quickly lifted his attention off of the water.

To his great surprise, Kate stood by his side and she met his gaze with a soft smile.

"Hello, my love," she said warmly.

Humphrey couldn't believe his eyes. Here was Kate, standing right beside him, but even more incredible, she, too had shed her age and become youthful once more. Initially, he felt a surge of joy was over him, but that was quickly banished and replaced by sadness as he realized that what he saw wasn't real. Kate was gone. He had to be dreaming.

"You're not real," Humphrey said sadly as he lowered his eyes, "this is just a dream."

Kate smiled.

"No," she replied as she placed her paw on his shoulder, "this is real. I'm here now."

"No you're not," Humphrey argued morosely as he turned away from her, "you died a long time ago."

"Yes, I did," Kate replied slowly as she took a seat, "but even though it looked as though I left you all alone, I was always with you."

Humphrey paused and sat with his back to her then lowered his head.

"No you weren't," Humphrey replied solemnly as tears brimmed in his eyes, "being with me in my heart doesn't add up to shit. There's only so much companionship that can be drawn from a memory. This is a dream and you're here, great, but what happens when I wake up and you're gone again? What am I supposed to do then, not miss you because I can see you in my dreams? That's not enough, Kate." Tears welled up in his eyes and his voice became choked by a sob. "I miss you so much."

"I know," Kate replied softly, "but this is not a dream or a memory."

Humphrey scoffed as he wiped a tear from his eye.

"Oh yeah?" he asked incredulously, "then what else could it be?"

"Isn't it obvious, Humphrey?" Kate asked him.

Humphrey sniffled and turned his eyes down to the water again and stared at the young wolf who gazed sadly back at him, and he lowered his eyes as realization fell upon him like a rock.

"I'm dead," he whispered softly.

Kate nodded and slowly approached him then placed a paw on his shoulder.

"Yes, Humphrey," she replied softly, "you died peacefully in your sleep."

"Then what is this?" Humphrey asked her dryly as he turned to face her once more.

"This is the passage," Kate replied, "your spirit and your body have separated, and now it is time for you to go."

"To where?"

"To Paradise."

Humphrey sighed.

"But I can't go yet," he argued, "what about our kids?"

"They'll be fine," Kate assured softly, "after all, they tend to take after their father."

But Humphrey wasn't concerned about their ability to survive without him. He knew that they were strong.

"But I never even got to say goodbye," he said softly as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Was goodbye ever in your heart?" she asked him.

Humphrey had to take a moment to interpret the meaning behind what she had asked him, and finally, with a sigh, he understood.

"No," he admitted, "not until now anyway."

Kate placed her paw on her mate's shoulder.

"It'll be okay," she comforted, "you loved them. They know that, and that should be enough."

Humphrey lowered his head.

"It doesn't feel like it is," he replied morosely, "I should have been with them."

Kate sighed and lowered her paw.

"There's no changing what has been done," she said softly, "but in death you can let go of your grief and your regret. Only then will your spirit truly be free."

Humphrey blinked away a tear then nodded.

"Okay," he digressed as he lifted his eyes to his mate once more, "I'm ready."

Kate nodded then placed her paw on top of his and closed her eyes. There was a rush of wind followed by a flash of bright light and then just like that, the two vanished. A silence fell over the meadow and all became still for a moment. No life could be found in this moment, but in the center of the meadow, where the grass and the flowers grew with the vigor of the earth in which they grew, lied the body of an aged, grey wolf. His eyes were closed, his heart was open, and upon his lips he bore an eternal smile as his spirit rose to join with his mate in the eternal plains of Paradise.


End file.
